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Alabama idiots
a sad day on Sasame Street
Alabama idiots
~ALABAMA HIGHWAY IDIOTS~
I was in a car dealership when a brand new motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went into the back to make a sandwich.
~ALABAMA NEIGHBORHOOD IDIOTS~
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request removal of the Deer crossing sign on our road. The reason? Too many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there!
~ALABAMA COMPUTER IDIOTS~
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees out in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
~ALABAMA AIRBASE AIRBORNE IDIOTS~
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees in the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed there.
~ALABAMA DEPARTMENT STORE IDIOTS~
I worked for a while at a K-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of K-Mart you are sometimes required to make storewide pages; e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with the (I kid you not) following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys who needs Assistance."
~ALABAMA EMERGENCY ROOM IDIOTS~
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the Emergency Room right away.
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